Exeter Community Initiatives’ Family Resource project came into Sonya, and her teenage son, Sid’s lives following a referral from school. Sid had been avoiding school for emotional reasons which snowballed after lockdown. He was also highly anxious and was socially isolated. He’d become addicted to his screen time and his relationship with his mum was very strained.
Sid’s mum, had been a victim of domestic abuse. Some of the things Sid did and said reminded her of this time which made her upset and unable to help him.
Sonya and Sid worked with Denise, one of Exeter Community Initiatives’ Family Support Workers.
*Denise said: “On getting to know Sonya, it was clear she lacked confidence around setting limits and boundaries with Sid.”
Denise shared ‘Hand in Hand’ gentle parenting approaches with Sonya, showing her how to support Sid when he was not able to manage his own emotions and needed to be with her. She also signposted Sonya to the ‘Hand in Hand’ website where she could connect with a listening partner for day-to-day support.
Because Sonya had been a victim of domestic abuse and felt triggered by Sid’s behaviour, Denise referred them to the Exeter charity The SAFE Foundation which supports families in recovery from domestic abuse and violence.
Since Denise started working with Sonya and Sid, she has seen Sonya’s confidence in parenting and advocating for herself and her son grow. Sonya is now able to identify her own triggers and think carefully about her reactions to Sid’s behaviour and how she can support him.
Sonya said: “Denise supported us through a really tough time, I have always felt heard and validated and I am really happy that we now have the right support in place. Throughout our support Denise has provided a safe, supportive non-judgemental environment to figure out our steps forward. She has ensured that the right forms have been filled out, advocated for me when I didn’t have the confidence. Thanks to her support I now feel empowered to advocate for myself and Sid.”
Denise also worked with Sid on his anxiety. They did a ‘Hear my Voice’ book together to help Sid explore his feelings and experiences. He is now able to express them in a way that other people understand. To build up his confidence, she encouraged Sid to take part in activities outside the home including playing tennis.
Sid is now been able to identify and understand his anxiety surrounding school and leaving the house and can recognise what’s best for him.
Sid said: “Denise has been really helpful in helping me to understand how I feel and why I feel so anxious. I am really happy the Family Connector is going to be there to help me connect to my community.”
Both Sonya and Sid have reported their relationship is flourishing and has massively improved. The family are now being supported by Exeter Community Initiatives’ Community Family Connectors to find activities they both enjoy doing as they are no longer striving to cope, they are thriving.
*All names have been changed to protect identities. Picture posed by models.